Remind Me to Not Die: Media DRAGS Erin Moran Entire Day Before Releasing Real Cause of Death

I’ve always understood that you do not speak ill of the dead because they have no way to defend themselves. Apparently the media could give a fuck about that. It’s just a race to get the gossip out and clicks in instead of releasing factual information in a respectable manner.

Over the weekend Erin Moran died. Beloved character, “Joanie” of Happy Days. I was born in the 70’s and grew up watching her. I have lovely memories of her and her show. As I’ve grown into an adult I have seen her not do as well as some of her cast mates. That doesn’t mean her value as a person is not the same.

The poor woman dies. The next day the VERY sources that leave statements of her dying of stage 4 throat cancer, had just hours and minutes earlier DRAGGED her reputation through the mud. Saying the most deplorable things about her state of mind, her choice in spouse, and where she lived and even referenced embarrassing videos of her. Facts or not, we are all human and do not deserve for people to spit on our reputations after we die.

TMZ and especially People Magazine (I realize they are not really “valid” news sources). But these are what people paying attention to. Instead of bringing to light who Erin was as a person, they said the most disgusting truths about her. I am not going to repeat the facts because these slimey sites already did. I refuse to state it.

It’s a sad statement of our society and as people as a whole. No one even cared how. They only wanted to share dirt on a person who was struggling. The worst part, is even before death, Moran lost the ability to talk for herself. The cancer took away her ability to speak.

In the meantime the likes of Trumpster, Scott Baio, and “6 Childhood Actors” stated the most atrocious allusions to her well-being and mental state, when they really just wanted to capitalize on her being in the spotlight one last time and steal some of her remaining thunder. Fuck all the “Chachi’s” out there. Ironically, when I was little, my dad used to refer to little asshole, boys as “Chachi”. How fitting.

Real friends would have known about the cancer. These people who insisted that they “tried to help her” would have stated something about it and stuck up for her. BUT NO ONE did until the end of the day. I barely know my backyard neighbor and know more about her than these people claimed to state. Disgusting.

I’m not appalled or offended. I’m disappointed.  At this point, it looks like when I die, I won’t be remembered for anything but being a skinny bitch with a big mouth.

I know this blog comes across as me being a being jerk, but if you read it carefully, you will understand I am pointing out what fucking assholes people are and that we could do things better and be better people if we just think for a second, and treat each other with a little dignity and look at ourselves with a little sense of humor.

RIP Erin Moran, you deserved better.

moranobit2-master768

Now I’m Not Trying To Be Rude

 

Now, I’m not trying to be rude but….Have you seen the products marketed to women lately? I’ve come across some interesting products and thought I’d share them with you.

Apparently, fake camel toe underwear is a trend. You can look yourself, I am choosing not to post camel toes on my page. (haha Remember when the Camel Toads story came out. you’re an old school message board user if you remember that story.) Anyway. It’s mostly some kind of Asian fetish. I don’t know about you, but the camel toe is the first thing I look for when putting on a pair of pants, legging, etc. cuz I’m trying to hide it, not show it off.fb_img_1490187963434.jpg

I guess you can call this the “Ladies Edition” of residual poo. I guess it stems from the ridiculousness of the current presidency. We have a room full of men dictating women’s rights,

…..and the president’s daughter acting as first lady even though she has 3x as many children as Melania, with one of them just turning one.

That’s right! While the the doting mother of Baron stays home in New York costing taxpayers a fortune, Trump’s daughter is leaving 3 small children to be cared for by a nanny, one an infant. What in the fuck is that? This is not a knock against working mothers, this is me calling out Melania’s bullshit excuse for staying home for the kid. He’s not a small child.

So we got this unpaid volunteer working in the whitehouse gaining access to anyone she wants to profit her family. Anyone who thinks this family has the interest of anyone but themselves in mind is not in their right mind. I’m surprised it has gotten this far. Because Ivanka is not collecting salary, she is getting around legal technicalities regarding nepotism. This is what happens when we have a poor education system and generations addicted to television.

Speaking of twats. Check this shit out! It’s a speaker that you put inside your vagina when you are pregnant so the baby can hear the music clearly. “By placing a speaker inside the vagina, we overcome the barrier formed by the abdominal wall and the baby can hear sounds with almost as much intensity and clarity as when emitted,” the site continues.

  1. This is positively disgusting and you are just asking for a bacterial infection.
  2. brick-tamland-anchorman-im-currently-laughing-out-loud.jpg
  3. It has been proven in many studies that developing fetuses need no stress or noise while in utero. Putting music up your hoo-ha could actually disrupt neural development. Think about it, you’re developing and you hear some fucking noise when you’re just trying to sleep and grow. Sounds annoying as fuck to me. Don’t be fooled by the nonsense of more neurons created during music. It’s just to sell you shit, like vagina speakers and fake FUPAs.

 

Leaving you on a positive note. I hope you take the time to appreciate this video, because we all want to be hip hop as fuck. Are you hip hop AF

This Badass New Mom Just Dropped The Mic

This badass new mom just dropped the mic. I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to see Peta show off her post baby bump. Because this is the truth. We all shrink back down at our own pace. Some less or more than others. But the fact is Peta isn’t ashamed or faking the funk.

screen-shot-2017-01-16-at-9-06-39-pm

A week or so after I had my baby I ran into my landlord at the time. She asked when I was gonna have the baby. “I had him last week!”

See, I dont bitch about everything. I just call it like I see it. You don’t have to read it.

Speaking of freakin elephants how awesome is this?! I hate HATE the circus and zoos. I’m glad Ringling Brothers is gone. #byefelicia I eat meat so yes, I’m a partial asshole (we order from a special farm so I’m trying). But there is nothing more depressing than seeing ANYONE or anything exploited. That goes for people, animals, shit, even the environment. I’m not like a Buddhist or don’t have much inner peace but there’s just something totally wrong with watching a great beast pirouette. These animals also roam vast spaces of land for us to just put them on a fake mountain behind a moat with some drunk asshole screaming animal noises at them.

Let me expand for just a moment: I tried (again) taking my kid to the zoo last summer. We walked in, I saw a depressing rhino alone. I grinned and walked further around the enclosure to a bird exhibit. I followed my running toddler to an empty corner to see a lonely owl. Wait. It gets better. I look further, and there is our country’s symbol, pissed as all hell. A solitary American Eagle encaged in a corner. Not only can he never fly away, but very few visit him (he might like that part who knows). A true metaphor. It makes my stomach drop just thinking about it. He looked miserable.

On that note! I hope everyone had a lovely MLK day. 3 years ago today my life changed and I found out I was pregnant. It was hard not to tell people, but sometimes you can’t just scream out everything that you want.

Where the F*ck is Your Wife?!

Republican National Convention: Day One

Am I the only one that noticed that the number one person that loves you in the world isn’t there!? Why wasn’t Melania at Trump’s first press conference in 6 months? Am I the only one that is wondering why his kids and son-in-law are following him everywhere and that is ok, but his very own wife is not?

63868017

I mean I get it, but, um, your husband is about to be president. I live far from the perfect marriage but I sure as hell would be there at those “important days” my husband has. I am so curious as to what was more important than to join her husband and family? She’s first lady! I am truly baffled at this.

In my 40 years on this earth I have never seen anything like this where a president’s kids are there but not his partner in life. His wife! She’s supposed to be his rock, his better half, his one and only and she’s. not. there.

What a miserable existence. For both of them. One of the most powerful men in the world can’t even get his own wife to stand behind him. And one of the most looked upon women of the world, and she hates her husband so much that she would publically not be there for him. I know this play. I did this once to an ex-boyfriend to humiliate him for treating me like shit. So I dumped him the night before his birthday party. Everyone just asked where I was at his party. So I know a cold-play when I see one, and this is so obvious and not just another “oh, she needs to be with her son, he needs her” type shit.

I’m calling you out Melania. You hate him and want the world to know he is an asshole. b79a69ad49abfb715149ad8da7d40bb21c336b943ef77ac9a81b58294b03c419

FUCK YOU CHANNING TATUM

Fuck you Channing Tatum and your bullshit “perfect life” picture. That shit is not realistic and you basically made many mothers and wives feel like shit, gave husbands unreal expectations and created an unreal fantasy for future parents.  You heard me. I’m hating. (suprise!) I’m sure you’ve seen this image of his hot wife napping. Well let me tell you something. If we all had nannies and maids we would all be sleeping hot and sexy like that too. In sweet marital bliss, clean sheets, soft, unblemished skin rubbed by massage therapists, with full nights sleep, and staff and family members to assist our every need. Guess what, 99% are not living that dream.

Currently wearing: owl pajama pants, a t-shirt I’ve worn since the last shower, and a hoody, WITH the hood up. It’s fucking 20 degrees out. I could blast the heat and wake up like that, but my husband wouldn’t even fucking see it because he snores so fucking loudly I have my own room now. Between the little sleep I get, I need at least a couple quality hours. LOL at this image.

This ranges up there with that idiot Kim Kardashian waving her jewelry around. She got ripped off. My mother always told me to “never let the devil see you smile”.

You know where I’d be after a night of partying, even with baby sitter, even if my husband and I managed to get in a bang? HUNGOVER, carrying my toddler, with my hair in some fucked up ponytail. Sleep? LOL Sleeping in? Fuck you for your staged photograph of #goals that are not realistic.

ugh

I refuse to relish in their happiness. I refuse to accept that I could “have this too” if I tried hard enough. It’s easy to get along when you don’t have 1000 errands on your plate.   Your husband is just as exhausted as you are, and you look at each other and throw rock, paper, scissors over the next shitty diaper (literally full of poo). We go out on date nights. Both of us are pretty good looking too, but our night is literally a math equation of how many drinks can I get in and how much is this going to cost in the morning. Another issue, when the clock strikes midnight, will we turn to pumpkins and puss out? We don’t even have the fucking energy.

And you can call me out, and say I’m so hating and that I’m miserable, blah blah blah. How many of you have toddlers? I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty active in my parenting. My kid and I are in tune with each other. ALL my energy goes to making sure his life is amazing. I don’t have time to fucking hug my down comforter, let alone make sure my 1000 count Egyptian cotton sheets are pressed and give a sheen. Fucking jerks.

And my ass does not look like that and I weigh 116 lbs. Bullshit.

More bullshit.  As you can tell, I don’t like Trump. But I swear to fucking God. Unless I see a video of Trump and some bitches pissing on themselves, I’m not buying it. Show me some red hair, a hand, someone making it rain, ANYTHING. This is the type of gossip that comes from yentas. It makes me wonder what serious thing is really going on that the media is diverting our attention from to the president-elect supposedly being into golden showers. I say this often, but I swear I was not dropped off on the right planet.

 

Just Own It

yix6t

I’m not going to bullshit, I believe at least 99% of us over 35 have made the “retard gesture” at some point in our lives. Most of us, during our childhoods. Don’t even fucking lie. None of us were that sensitive or PC in the 80’s and I can specifically remember myself doing it and seeing numerous other kids doing it. Am I proud? Absolutely not! I still have trouble deleting the word “retard” from my vocabulary and I have family members with disabilities. My point is, we’ve (35 and older) all done this gesture and are ashamed of it and that is why it is so appalling that the guy that is about to serve as our president denies what he did. All he’s doing is back-pedaling. It’s really weird.

See for yourself Here’s the video. It’s uncomfortable and if it doesn’t make you feel like shit then, you’re either a supreme asshole or in complete denial and really just full of shit, thus leading you back to being a supreme asshole. It’s wrong, it’s embarrassing and the coward should just own it and say “you know what guys, I was a fucking asshole and wrong”. But he just. Cant.

I don’t even give a fuck that he talked shit back to Meryl Streep. We’ve already accepted that he’s that petty. But it’s the chain of lies. That fucking ghoul Conway is on CNN straight up lying, deflecting and denying what we can all see with our very own eyes. You know what really pisses me off, it that squinty-eyed bitch Melania isn’t doing shit to check her husband. I’m sorry, I’d kick my husband’s ass for doing all this tweeting and making fun of people.ShitRepublican National Convention: Day One

I can’t. Even. So, in response This teacher used apples to demonstrate the effects of bullying. I think this example hit so hard to the “core”. I admit I bully, I don’t give a fuck, but I’m not the fucking president of the United States.

Media: Speaking of assholes, I’m glad someone is finally calling out that asshole Jimmy Fallon. What a fucking kiss ass. The show is only good bc the Roots are on there. Fallon is just another corporate kiss ass and boring…as seen on the Golden Globes last night. I think they did that just to somehow make Mariah look better. TV is weird like that and they hang each other out of spite and for ratings.

cc356504fd6780878354b450b27139a03e864dc5e214c1ce52759f106a7a8242

In lighter news, never forget. President Bush always delivers.

Music: If you live in Chicago or are visiting, and like Drum and Bass Check this place out on Tuesdays.

Weird Shit: If you think I’m going to stop you’re wrong! If you’re pushing earwax in your ear you’re fucking doing it wrong and deserve it for failing the Darwin test of not failing at life.

instead-of-have-a-nice-day-i-think-ill-start-1986933

There May Be Hope. Trump was a Party Person

An article surfaced with Trump partying in Ibiza in the late 80’s. My only qualm is although he looks like he’s having fun, he doesn’t look too sweaty….if you know what I mean. So maybe he might be a little more open minded than we give him credit for but he still seems like more if a voyeur than a participator. I’m kind of calling him a pussy, but that would mean being or going straightedge isn’t cool… and we all know Mike (Jason Segal) was a fucking badass in SLC Punk. 

I’m really trying to see the bright side of the presidency. 
Current idiocy: These idiots are goint to ride public trans in their chones Let me tell you a little story that happened to me called “Bum Butt”. Several moons ago (how fucking hilarious that I fit moons in. I’m brilliant!). I was riding the bus on a rainy day. I sat in an empty seat on the crowded bus. It was wet. I went to work and within hrs developed a rash. The moral of the story. These artsy fucktards better stand. 

Speaking of sucios. Check out this sucia! Nothing like being sexy when you’re really just a pig. Imagine what other parts are sucias. Spicy.

*btw I am not latin in any way, but bc of whatever experiences I have had growing up, I think in Spanish often. Can’t explain it. I grew up Polish

Idiots in my life: I continue to see people I know taking photos, posting, and typing while driving. I hope at least one of you read this and know what a peice of selfish shit you are but unfriending you would cause so much drama and discomfort in our social circles that all I can do is secretly hate you and hope you maim yourself by your own vanity andstupidtdy one day. 

This puppy is doing life better than you.